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My head is buzzing. I haven't been on here in a while, not since… - exrecise bulimic's unite! [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
exrecise bulimic's unite!

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[Nov. 28th, 2006|03:27 pm]
exrecise bulimic's unite!

workoutbuddies

[bonua]
My head is buzzing. I haven't been on here in a while, not since september. Let me explain myself, I'm a perfectionist. At least I strive to be. I've came out of the anorexic stage, and I hate it, every bit. I am currently 130 pounds, 5'1", seventeen years old, senior at school. I used to be 115 in august. I'm so embarassed and ashamed of myself. Today I had a tangerine, I was surprised to find out they are 105 calories. I thought they would be around 60, but no loss, I still have 95 calories left to eat for today =). My name is mauwie. I have pictures, feel free to criticize, I'm blue, so it effects me, but it keeps me going, and helps me improve myself.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v294/mauwie849/mauwie006.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v294/mauwie849/mauwie005.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v294/mauwie849/mauwie001.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v294/mauwie849/mauwie009.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v294/mauwie849/mauwie007.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v294/mauwie849/mauwie010.jpg

Ahh, I just realized its alot of pictures, I'm sorry, I'm not familiar with tags, and how to make it link. To give you an idea of my size, the shirt I'm wearing in those pictures is a small, then in another one, I think I'm wearing a dress (its hard to tell, but my straps are a differnt color) and that is a size medium. I hate the way my belly sticks out. My arms are alooking flabby too. I know I beat myself up, but it's the way I am, it's hard not to. I developed anorexia (I used to have it), because I hated my life, I didn't want to punish myself by cutting, so I turned to not eating, and it grew on me. I have breakdowns if something is wrong with me...I feel terrible admiting it, but I told one of my friends about what happened, and she said probably because I'm obsessed with the way I look: I was carying paints to my locker from art class, and I had some green paint on my hand. I ran to the bathroom to wash it off, but it wasn't coming off, so I near had a panic attack, and almost burst into tears. I'm going to make a comitment to come on here, because I ditched the other group, and now I feel guilty for not being stron and being a good supportave person. I will do my best to help and motivate each and every one of you =).
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